seventh letter

Dear Jacob,

I can't believe it! In a couple of days, we'll be married and that thought just simply overwhelms me. I don't know what to do. I have never known a man. And I'm afraid i might not please you. I hope you will bear with me. There is much to learn on my part and I'm just thankful we have a lifetime of learning together. Perhaps, your God will guide me to do what is right. And i really, really hope He blesses us with children who will be with us through  our old age. These are just simple things i am asking for.

Oh my... I'm sorry. I got carried away there. I failed to write about how father has been looking at me strangely nowadays. I feel like there's something going on but i can't get hold of it. It's a menace hangs between the two of us and I think I would shed tears for this. A nagging thought disturbs me at night and a cloud seems to be hanging before me at daytime. I don't want to think about it but as the days draw near, i cannot deny this feeling anymore.

And now that i mentioned it, i suddenly feel threatened. The happiness i feel hangs by a thread all too suddenly.... and now, i'm not so certain anymore...



still hoping...


rachel